Taking stock

Sometimes when you are making big changes, you reach a plateau where you need to sit down and take a breath.  Take stock.  Change can be scary, and sometimes you need to pause and let things sink in.  In the midst of this change in my vibrato, and hand position, I realized that I’m not quite sure where I’m going with it all.  I find that I’m oddly at peace with this.  I didn’t like where I was, and I leaped into the unknown.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  That said, it is perfectly appropriate to mull over and stew in your creative juices a while to let the mud sift to the bottom, and the clarity rise to the top.  I will often berate myself for taking a day without practice.  With two young kids, my practice life is hard enough to come by!  Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.  Last night, I practiced until my wrist ached, and my finger tips were sore.  But…today is a day of rest.  Music is never far from my mind, but the rigors of how to produce that music can be wearing.  It’s ok.  I give myself permission to contemplate quietly and resist the urge to force my tired self to work.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Hopefully it will bring with it a bit of clarity and direction to move me along my path of discovery.